A Chance to Just Be CJ

At 18 years old, CJ has spent much of her life caring for her mum, who lives with fibromyalgia. 

When CJ was younger, her mum’s condition became so severe that she was often unable to get out of bed. Alongside supporting her mum, CJ also helped care for her younger sister while her dad worked long hours to support the family. 

“It was difficult when we were younger because she just couldn’t move out of bed at all. She could barely get up to go to the bathroom.” 

Like many young carers, CJ quickly took on responsibilities beyond her years. She helped with cooking, cleaning and supporting the household, all while growing up and navigating her own education and future ambitions. 

“Until you’ve got a family member who has a condition like that, you don’t really know how the house works. There’s so much stuff you don’t realise you’ve got to help your parent with.” 

Growing Up Differently 

Caring has shaped who CJ is as a person, teaching her patience, empathy and emotional maturity. 

“I think I’ve learned patience and empathy.” 

But it has also meant missing out on experiences many young people take for granted. 

“All of your peers are going out and doing their thing and you’re just like, ‘Well, you get to live your teenage life and I’m stuck at home.'” 

While she never resented supporting her mum, CJ admits that caring can sometimes feel isolating, especially when friends don’t fully understand what life is like at home. 

“It’s weird going to a friend’s house whose parents don’t have conditions and hearing about all the things they do together.” 

Finding People Who Understand 

Everything changed when CJ joined Young Carers services and became involved in Carers Support West Sussex’s My Future group. 

Initially nervous about meeting new people, she quickly discovered something unique about being surrounded by other young carers. 

“When I first joined Young Carers, I was terrified. I wouldn’t talk to a single soul.” 

Now, the friendships she has built through the group are one of the most important sources of support in her life. 

“Everybody here has similar issues to you. And you don’t have to talk about it. You just know.” 

For CJ, the difference is not just having friends. It is having friends who understand. 

“It’s so nice to have a community where you all understand each other without saying a word.” 

A Chance to Be Herself 

Activity days and residential trips give CJ something every young person deserves: time to relax, socialise and focus on herself. 

“It means that I get a bit of relief, both emotionally and physically, because I’m with my best mates.” 

For a few hours, she can put her caring responsibilities to one side and simply enjoy being a young person. 

“I can just relax, clear my mind and chill out with my mates.” 

The support has also helped her grow in confidence. 

“It’s helped me come out of my shell so much. I’m so much more confident now.” 

Looking to the Future 

This autumn, CJ will begin studying backstage theatre at the University of Surrey. Her dream is to work in the West End as a lighting programmer or props maker. 

Despite the challenges she has faced growing up, she remains positive about the future. 

“I want to have a job that I love and hopefully share some of that back with my parents.” 

She is also proud of the progress her mum has made. 

After years of being largely housebound, she is now able to spend more time outside the home, meet friends and enjoy new experiences. 

“To watch the people you’re taking care of get better and see them smile, that’s the most rewarding thing ever.” 

CJ’s Message to Other Young Carers 

CJ has simple advice for any young person who may be hesitant about seeking support. 

“Do it. Just do it. It’s going to be the best choice you ever make in your entire life.” 

She adds: 

“Everybody here is so welcoming. You’re going to think you’re nervous and it’s a bunch of strangers, but they’re going to accept you with open arms.” 

Outcome Snapshot 

Young Carer: CJ, 18 
Caring for: Mum with fibromyalgia 
Support accessed: My Future group, activities and peer support through Carers Support West Sussex 

Impact: 

• Reduced feelings of isolation 

• Built lasting friendships with other young carers 

• Increased confidence and self-esteem 

• Improved emotional wellbeing 

• Regular opportunities for respite from caring responsibilities 

• Support during transition to university and adulthood